If you’re in a relationship, whether it be short-term or not, I’m sure you will have been involved in the dreaded “what-if” scenarios with your partner. Nobody likes them, there’s no correct answer, and even if there is, the follow-up question will still result in an argument.
Though it’s horrible to be on the receiving end of such occurrences, other people’s can sometimes fill you with joys of laughter. We may just have that story!
It all starts with a husband and wife sitting quietly in bed, each reading a book. The wife then closes her book, looks over to her husband and asks a very sensitive question.
WIFE: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?”
HUSBAND: “What? Definitely not!”
WIFE: “Why not? Don’t you like being married?”
HUSBAND: “Of course I do.”
WIFE: “Then why wouldn’t you remarry? ”
HUSBAND: “Okay, okay, I’d get married again.”
WIFE: “You would?” (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: “Would you live in our house?”
HUSBAND: “Sure, it’s a great house.”
WIFE: “Would you sleep with her in our bed?”
HUSBAND: “Where else would we sleep?”
WIFE: “Would you let her drive my car?”
HUSBAND: “Probably, it’s almost new.”
WIFE: “Would you replace my pictures with hers?”
HUSBAND: “That would seem like the proper thing to do.”
WIFE: “Would you give her my jewellery?”
HUSBAND: “No, I’m sure she’d want her own.”
WIFE: “Would you take her golfing with you?”
HUSBAND: “Yes, those are always good times.”
WIFE: “Would she use my clubs?”
HUSBAND: “Of course not, she’s left-handed.”
WIFE: — silence —
Don’t say I didn’t warn you, “what ifs” never go down well!